Young Writers Society

As many others are saying, I am not the biggest of rap fans. However, this does sound fun and it would be cool to be able to actually hear this one performed!

*feels like crying* haha I came so late on reading this.....a couple years too late rick I've always loved what you've written and hope that we can talk again someday haha ^-^


but for now go on doing what you do my old grey friend.

Grey's forever!


-Uo the lady in grey

yea i agree with other ppl, its raw and truthful, i prefer the raps tat r out there tat are more meaningful like this one, and like common's girl with so much soul ect,
maybe you should record this, and send a link on this page.

that was raw ilike your style.I could her that rap on the radio and cd are you goin to drop a album it might sell to.

This is really good! I agree with people that I'm glad this song doesn't potray what most rap songs do nowadays (girls and there asses ).

I think it flowed really well, and had a cool meaning, and to the person above I have to disagree, this rap makes ALOT of sense. Sweet rhyming, and I hope someday to hear it on the radio! Lots of people here agree.

To Henry, people can write about what they want to write, just because they didn't grow up in that kind of enviorment doesn't mean they can't write about it, I completely disagree.

Plus, you are also being judgmental. Don't assume things and say he is pretending, you don't know him in real life do you? I think the rap is great, and what you said is actually very degrading and not helpful to him at all.

Anyway, no trying to pick a fight, just saying what I believe in my point of view. If you ever do write rap again, please tell me, this was really cool!

I'm gonna have to interject here and say, this sucks. It really makes no sense, no story, kinda just making rhymes that don't really rhyme, Eh? It really doesn't seem to me like you get the concept of this all. Read some books before trying "rap". I really doubt you grew up in some kind of cop infested hole where illegal activities flourished all the time. So please, don't pretend.

I'm gonna have to interject here and say, this sucks. It really makes no sense, no story, kinda just making rhymes that don't really rhyme, Eh? It really doesn't seem to me like you get the concept of this all. Read some books before trying "rap". I really doubt you grew up in some kind of cop infested hole where illegal activities flourished all the time. So please, don't pretend.

Also, sorry for the double post. Disregard the second one.

This is the first rap I've read on this, and the first one I've seen from you. It kicked serious.. well, It was really good. Right bang in your face punch. The repetition won it for me, and the rawness of the voice was something that you should definitely proud of. It came from the heart, but you used your head. Great. My favourite bit?

She my girl, and I'll treat her right,
She my baby and I'm her knight.

I never knew you were gansta.

Anyway, that was a cool song.

I didn't particularly like that.
It didn't have a main point... and most of the rap songs that I listen to do. Girls and Sex. So I'm glad your not some gold-digger.

I liked the bit where you said someone would get hit with eggs or something. Too bad this was your last one.

I live in an all black neighborhood and go to an all black school and all I hear is rap rap rap. It came to a point when I started to hate rap. When I read this, I was pleased to say that I really liked this. It was not like the dirty rap on the radio, because yours had meaning to it. I just wish you give it a beat so I could sing along! Great job.

That was funny. And yeah, I guess this could be radio material. But just to let you know, I'm not maybe the best person to review this since I never listen to rap.

She my girl, and I'll treat her right,
She my baby and I'm her knight.

Rick=Awesome! I have your back too and so does "greg".

Love ya!
~Rieda

I don't like rap. I despise it. I can't stand the beat that keeps playing over and over and over...

But this was freaking crazy. Dude! For once I'm gonna say I like this rap song.

There were a few parts where you lost me and some stuff that didn't make any sense, but that's rap for me. They never make any sense.

I liked this - it's definitely radio material. Now I know that as it's a rap it's not supposed to be grammatically correct or anything, but there's one thing that I noticed -

Linds. know's I'm good.

good job........keep up the good work ^_^

=O way to go rick..........keep up the good work^_^

I liked this, as the other girls said, I was reading this as though it was on the radio!!
I like it, i'm not massive on rap but when I hear good rap I love it!!!

Nice work!! I like the way you included your girl in there, thats sweet!!



Dofs...

Yeah I agree with summer. I could actually hear this as a song. Good job!! Each verse is pretty well thought out and things weren't just thrown in there for a sake of it! So, great job of maintaining a theme in each verse. Also, the chorus seems to tie everything together Overall, a job well done

Cheers,

-starry.

Oh and I apologize if this wasn't incredibly helpful because:
a) I've never reviewed a song so, maybe my review isn't particularly helpful.
b) I don't know how to review something as personal as a song or a poem.

I like this, it's crazy but I like rap music so when I read this I can actually hear it on the radio.